You Aren't Leaving I Am
by Naiha
Summary: Bella finds out the Edward is going to leave her again. She tells Edward to get out of her life and then she makes decision that changes everything. Bella now has to choose between what she believes in and what she wants most in the world.
1. Chapter 1

CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER 1

"Bella" I turned around, and found Alice standing behind me.

"Oh it's you. Hey what's up?" Alice looked really, worried, I wondered what was wrong.

"I need to talk to you, it's really important."

"Sure Alice, I was just about to leave the Newton's store anyway." She just nodded and waited for me. I told Mrs. Newton that I was leaving and then I went outside and found Alice sitting in her yellow Porsche talking to someone on her cell phone. I sat down in the car waiting for her to finish.

"Ok fine, Jasper. Bye, yeah sure whatever." She got off the phone and started the car, and turned to me.

"Bella I had a vision, and Edwardisgonnaleaveyouagain." She said it so quickly I barely caught what she had said. But I had heard _Edward…Leave…Again. _ That was all it took, and the black hole in my chest ripped open, and I had started to hyperventilate.

"Bella calm down, we are going to fix this. He's not going to leave you. I promise." She tried to assure me.

"Alice just tell me what happened. He can't leave me again; I won't be able to stand it." I had started to cry. At least this time I had a warning.

"He just, couldn't handle the thought of putting you through all of the pain. He thinks by leaving you here you would have a life and you would be able to grow old and have kids. He thinks that you not being in his life is the best for both of you. I swear Bella if you didn't love him so much I would've already killed him. Oh and he was going to leave you tonight. He was just going to talk to you in your living room, and then after saying what he needed to say he was going to leave."

The black hole in my chest was gone and it had been replaced with anger. He wasn't going to leave me, not this time. I was going to leave him whether he was happy about it or not.

"Thanks for telling me that Alice. I know what's going to happen this time. I'm going to leave him. Carlisle is going to change me into a vampire, and I am going to Italy afterwards."

Alice looked at me with shock.

"Alice I mean I'm going to ask to join the Volturi if I can."

But then she stopped the car at the side of the road, and she became still. She was having a vision.

"What's wrong Alice? What did you see?" I asked her.

"Its nothing, your plan will work. Don't worry about it." She said that and patted my shoulder. For the rest of the car drive we were quiet, Alice dropped me off at my house.

I told her that I would call when I needed to. She just nodded and drove off.

My plan was to "talk" to Edward when he came here to dump me. And when I was sure he was gone, I was going to tell Charlie that I was leaving. I had had enough, I didn't want to leave Charlie but this was best for both of us. I would be totally packed before that, and then I would call Alice and we were going to drive over to the Cullens. Carlisle was going to change me and as soon as I had control over the bloodlust I was going to leave for Italy. It was quick and I knew that, but this was it. He wasn't going to mess me up again, and as much as I hated him now I knew that the love I had for him would never leave.

I sighed and went upstairs to pack; when I was done I heard the doorbell ring. I went downstairs to open the door and there he was; my perfect angel, the one who was planning on leaving me, the one who was going to break my heart.

"Edward."


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER 2

"Bella, I need to talk to you." I nodded and smiled like nothing was wrong. Ha, everything was wrong. The whole damn world was wrong.

"Sure come, on into the living room." He followed me into the living room, and sat down on the old armchair. I sat down on the sofa.

"Well? What do you want to tell me?" I let go of the whole I-don't-know what's-going-on look and glared at him. I swear if looks could kill he would have been dead.

"You know don't you? Alice probably told you?" He said quietly.

"Yes I know. And I _thought_ you loved me, but apparently I was wrong. You don't love me at all do you?" I said, and I was positive he could hear the venom dripping from my voice.

"Bella-"I cut him off.

"Listen to me Edward Cullen, and listen well. I am a human, and I was never enough, and I never will be. I don't deserve you, and you don't love me. You don't have the right to love me, or at least pretend to love me, and then take everything I have away from me. It's not your choice to make. I don't care that you're leaving me to give me a better life. The life I wanted was with you, and since I can't have that, I am going to leave you. And you can do whatever you were doing before you met me. I was just a small distraction in your life and nothing more. So just go, and get the hell out of my life."

I was crying, and I fell on my knees, and I cried until my body couldn't produce any more tears. All the anger had disappeared, and I felt nothing but pain, and emptiness. He left so quietly I didn't hear him. He didn't even protest, or tell me this isn't how it should be or anything. It just made me burst into tears again. I was right the whole time. I wasn't someone like him could love, and no matter how hard I tried to change that, I couldn't.

I got up off the floor and wrote Charlie a note.

_Daddy, please don't hate me when you read this. I love you more than you can imagine. But I can't stay here anymore, Edward left me again. It was wrong for me to come to Forks in the first place. This place has given me a lot of happiness, but it's also given me a lot of pain. And I can't stay here any longer and bear the pain. I am so sorry. I promise you that I am not running off with Edward. He's the last person I want to be with at the moment. Please don't bother the Cullen's about this. I will call you Dad, and I am sorry that I caused you so much pain._

_Love Always and Forever,_

_Bella_

I left the note on the table, and then I grabbed my bags, and put them in the truck. Alice was sitting inside the truck waiting for me. I just sat there with tears streaming down my face and Alice gave me hug, and for the longest time I just sobbed on her shoulder.

"Bella, Edward is going to leave. He's going to join the Denali Coven. I think he's on his way right now. He doesn't want to stay with us since this time you left him. He thinks that he's not worthy to be part of the family anymore. Which I think is true."

I panicked. He was leaving because of me, he couldn't do that. I couldn't rip apart his family. It wasn't fair to the rest of them.

"Alice, I can't do this. I am ripping apart your family. I am just going to go straight to the Volturi, and I'll stay with them. They can change me, and you can come and see me anytime."

"Bella it doesn't matter, Carlisle and Esme will understand. Emmett and Jasper will probably try to hunt Edward down and kick his butt. And even Rose won't be mad; she'll think that you have a lot of girl power."

That made me laugh, well as tempting as living with them sounded I couldn't do it. Deep down, they would probably still blame me.

"No, I can't." My voice cracked. "It's just that, even if they don't hate me, they all still know it's my fault he left. Because I wasn't enough for him, and he decided that it was just easier for him to just leave me so I can have a better life and so can he."

"Bella, that's not true you know-," I cut her off.

"No, it _is _true. Last time he promised he wouldn't leave me. And he did, or at least he tried to. The point is that I wasn't meant to be part of his life. And I don't think I ever will be." Hot tears were running down my cheeks.

"Bella, I swear it's not like that. They will love you, no matter what." She was doing her best to get me to go to the Cullens.

My resolve dissolved. I rather be with the Cullens then be with the Volturi, I knew that going to the Cullens was wrong. Maybe if another coven came by I could try to join them.

"Let's go then, I want to be a vampire in 3 days." I started the car and made my way to the Cullen Mansion.


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER 3

When we got to their house, I parked into the garage and then I made my way into the house. When we were inside I took a deep breath. And then I called them,

"Carlisle, Esme, Emmet, Jasper, Rosalie, could come here please" I was whispering but I knew they had heard me. I blinked and they were all in front of me.

"Your probably wondering why Edward left, right?" They all looked at me and nodded.

"Edward was going to leave me again. He was going to take himself and all of you away from me again. Alice saw him leaving in one of her visions, and she told me." I fell to my knees for the second time that night and started crying.

"I told him to leave, I told him that he couldn't leave me, and I was going to leave him. And I am so sorry, Esme, Carlisle, I am so sorry that I tore apart your family. It's just that I couldn't handle him leaving me. It's probably the worst decision I've made in my life but it's what I had to do. I still love all of you, and I still love Edward, it's just that he doesn't love me anymore. That's why he left to join the Denali Coven. So I need to know, if it's alright for me to become part of your family. If it's not I don't know what I'll do."

I put my head in my hands and sobbed. Esme helped me up and gave me a hug.

"You will always be a part of our family Bella, even if Edward leaves. I don't blame you for what you did. It was the right choice for you to make." She whispered in my ear and then she hugged me tighter.

"It's alright Bella, we're not mad at you for what you did." Carlisle gave me a hug also.

"I'll make sure to track the bastard down and tell give him a good beating for what he did." I panicked at first, but I realized Emmett was just joking; He gave me one of his bear hugs.

"Emmett-…can't…breathe" He let me go, and laughed.

Jasper didn't hug me, and I was okay with that, he just sent me a wave of calm to help me. I smiled at him.

"Your part of the family Bella, I'll help Emmett track him down" He grinned.

"Thanks Jasper."

"Anytime Bells."

When I turned around Rosalie flew at me and hugged me. I was shocked, and I hugged her back timidly.

"What he did to you was wrong, I'm glad you're with us Bella. And I'm sorry I've been such a bitch. No hard feelings."

"You have absolutely no idea how great that makes me feel Rose." I smiled at her and she smiled back.

Alice just hugged me and gave me an I-told-you-so look.

I started crying again. They all loved me, and I was happy. But the Cullen that I wanted to love me most wasn't here and he didn't love me and there was nothing I could do about that.

"Carlisle, I need you to change me into a vampire. I want to be part of your family, and I need to make it official. Will you change me?" I asked, knowing that his decision was the one that was going to affect me the most.

"Of course Bella, when would you like to do it?" I sighed in relief as soon as those words left his mouth.

"I want to do it right now, but I don't know if Charlie is going to come looking for me here or not. I asked him not to. Alice is he going to come?" I asked.

"No, he's not. He's going to listen to you, but he's going to miss you terribly Bella."

I sighed and nodded.

"Is anyone else going to come looking for me? Jacob?"

"I don't know Bella. You know I can't see what the werewolves are doing."

"Maybe we should leave before you guys change me."

"Where would we go Bella? It's not like we can go to Denali. Edward's there, well we can go if you want but I rather not, because I know that I would kill him if I saw him-wait no Emmett _will _kill him if we go to Denali." I looked Emmet, he grinned apologetically.

"This is my entire fault." I moaned.

"No Bella, honey it's not your fault. It's Edwards," I flinched at the sound of his name when Esme spoke. "We won't go to Denali, maybe we can just relocate somewhere in Alaska instead."

I nodded. But I maybe if I did go to Alaska, Edward would be there, and I could…I could…could what? I could go and see him breaking up pieces of my heart that were already broken. But I would turn into vampire, and that's what he didn't want right? I would make sure everything he didn't want would happen.

I looked at Alice, understanding filling her face. She just nodded, and I knew that we were going to Denali.

"We can go to Denali, he won't know that we're coming and when he sees me, the worst he can do is leave, and I can handle that."

"Bella, are you sure you want to?" Carlisle asked." This is entirely up to you."

"Yeah I want to. Just Emmet, please don't kill him. Promise? " I tried to smile. But it came out as a grimace.

"You are so not fun Bella, but fine, I promise I won't kill him, no matter how much he deserves to die a slow painful death."

"Thanks Emmett."

"So everyone go and pack. We well be out of here by morning." Carlisle announced.

"Bella you should get some sleep, you'll need it." Esme told me. I nodded and I started making my way upstairs.

I stopped at Edwards's room; I didn't think that I would be able to go in there unless the wretched black hole sucked me in again. But it just happened to be the only room with a bed in it. I walked into the room. A million memories went through my head. The first time he brought me in here to the night he proposed.

I gasped trying to breathe, and trying to hold every memory back. I wasn't going to let him do this to me; he couldn't destroy my life again. I wouldn't let him. No matter what I told myself I collapsed on the floor surrounded by nothing but black.


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER 4

When I woke up, I realized I was on the bed. Alice must have put me on the bed last night. It was cloudy outside when I looked out the window.

"Bella we're going to leave for Alaska in an hour. Come downstairs and have breakfast"

Without turning I told Alice I'd be down in 10 minutes. I took a quick shower, and put on some clothes and then I walked downstairs.

There was a bowl of Cheerios on the kitchen table. I sat down, and all of a sudden everyone was at the table, as if they had been there the whole time.

"So Bella the plan is that we are going to go into a small house we own near them. We can change you there and then we can go to Tanya's house and stay there. Are you sure you want to go to their coven, we can still stay in our own house if you'd like." Carlisle asked me.

I had made my decision last night and I was not going to change it.

"I'm sure I want to go Carlisle."

"Alright, so you finish your breakfast, and we will get ready to leave." And they all got up and left.

When I finished breakfast, I started to go upstairs to get my bag, but Alice stopped me, and told me that she had already put my bag in the car. I nodded. I headed towards the cars. The Volvo was missing. I knew why, I knew where it was, but it hurt me so much knowing that it wasn't there.

"Bella you can ride with me or Jasper or Emmett, or Rosalie. Your pick."

"Who drives the slowest?"

"None of us drive slow Bella." Alice laughed.

"Why don't you just tell me who I pick?"

"You pick me. Cool"

"Alright." I got into her car. Everyone else was loading luggage into the trunks of the car. They had all packed what they needed, and everything else would stay here until they relocated.

I waited for them to finish, it only took them all five minutes. Everyone got into their cars and sped off. We were the last ones to leave. Alice hit the gas pedal and we were going at 125 mph.

"Alice are we racing to see who gets there first?"

"No, we're not."

"Well could you drive more slowly, please?"

"No Bella. We can't."

"'Kay."

I didn't feel like I had enough energy in me to argue with her. I wondered why I wasn't numb. Maybe because I would see him so enough and that kept me from losing it? I didn't know, and I didn't care. I was just glad that I wasn't numb…but I knew I would be soon enough.

Alice spoke, pulling me away from my thoughts.

"Bella do you want to talk about it?"

I sighed. "No Alice."

"Okay. So what do you want to talk about?"

"So, you still see me becoming one of you, right?"

"Yeah, I've been seeing that since we met you, but the circumstances keep on changing."

"Ok good. Will I have any powers?"

"Yeah. I was hoping you wouldn't ask me. I wanted them to be a surprise."

"No Alice I want to know. If things don't work out, I need to have something that the Volturi would take me in for."

Alice glared at me. "You are _not_ joining the Volturi Bella!"

"Whatever. Just tell me."

"Ok Bella, I'll tell you. But this is just a possibility; you could end up with some other power." She sighed and continued. "You won't need human blood. Only animal blood."

That took me a minute to take in. I wasn't going to be like the rest of them. I wasn't going to want humans. It made sense, I almost always puked when I saw, or smelt blood.

"Is that it?"

"No. You will also be able to cry. And there is this one more special power, but I don't know what it is. It's only coming to be in blurs. I'm not sure what it is."

Wow. I'd still be able to cry. I couldn't tell if this was a good or bad thing.

"That's alright. This is all still a possibility. Thanks for telling me Alice."

"You're welcome Bella."

That was the last time I spoke. I stayed quiet for the rest of the four hours. My mind was swirling with memories of him, and each memory took a piece of my heart and broke it again, and again.

I had fallen asleep, and pretty soon, Alice was shaking my shoulder telling me to wake up.

I opened my eyes and we were in front of this mansion. It wasn't even close to the mansion in Forks. But it would have to do. If I was lucky then I would only be here for 3 days.

We walked in. It was much prettier on the inside than it was on the outside. The rooms were beautiful.

Everyone took their stuff into the house, and I took my overnight bag upstairs. The rest of the luggage was still in the car because we didn't plan on staying here very long.

I changed into my sweats and my favorite t-shirt. I went downstairs, and Emmett had grabbed McDonalds for me on the way here for my lunch. Alice sat with me while I ate, while everyone else went hunting.

"Are you scared Bella?" She asked.

"No, I have nothing to be afraid of." I didn't have anything to be afraid of. The only thing that I had been afraid of happened. He chose to leave. There was nothing left in life to be scared of.

She nodded like she understood. She didn't, no one did.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER 5

"Its time Bella" Carlisle told me.

"Ok, where are we doing this?"

"In your bedroom."

I nodded and we all headed upstairs. When we got to my room, I sat down on the bed.

"Lay down Bella." I did as he said. He leaned down and he bit my neck. At first I didn't feel anything, and then the fire began.

He bit on my wrists and my ankles, and the fire coursed through my body. Slowly at first and then I was consumed by it.

I screamed. Someone was holding my hand trying to calm me down. The pain of it all hurt so much. I didn't think I could handle it. It went through touching every nerve of my body, burning everything. I couldn't stop my screams. I started to writhe in pain, and each time I moved the flame increased. I tried to lay still. And I just let the pain take me in.

Fire.

Pain.

Fire.

Pain.

Fire.

And on and on it went, never ending.

And then suddenly all of the pain disappeared. I felt different, not in a bad way, but not in a good way either. I opened my eyes and everything seemed different. Everything was more defined and clearer. I sat up, and Alice grabbed me and hugged me. I hugged her back. Her skin didn't feel hard or cold to me anymore. It felt normal, like it did when I touched a human.

"Wow, I'm actually a vampire now. " My voice sounded like music.

"Bella you just have to see yourself. You look great!" Rosalie said.

I got up and I looked in the mirror. My skin was flawless, and the same shade of white as the rest of them. My features became more defined as if they were chiseled into perfection. My brown locks went down to my waist, and I was 3 inches taller. The curves on my body became more defined. My eyes were red, but they would fade.

Finally, I was perfect. I was a vampire. I closed my eyes and imagined my new self standing with Edward. We fit perfectly and looked like we belonged to each other. A tear slid down my cheek.

"Oh! I'm crying!"

"What? How?" Rosalie asked. There was a hint of jealousy in her voice.

"I think that Bella has cried so much recently that the trait came with her when she turned into a vampire." Carlisle explained

"Alice what about the humans? Do I still have that power?"

"Yeah. Bella doesn't have an attraction to human blood. She will only need animal blood. I saw it happening in a vision a while ago. She also has this other power, but I still don't know what it is. We are just going to have to wait and find out." Alice explained the whole situation to the family.

"Rosalie would you relax, your emotions are bugging me." Jasper said.

"Well why don't you do something about it then?" She was angry.

"Fine, I will."

Jasper sent a wave of calm through everyone, even though I think Rosalie was the only one that needed it.

"Well Bella why don't we teach you how to hunt. " Carlisle said, changing the subject.

"Ok" We started to leave when Emmett stopped.

"Bella, you owe me an arm wrestle." I laughed, and nodded. "Sure Emmett."

I felt happy, but it didn't take away the pain that was eating me on the inside.


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER 6

Hunting was not particularly something I enjoyed. I loved the running. It was as if I was soaring into the air, and I only hit a tree once. Emmett wasn't ever going to let it go. Carlisle led all of us into the forest, and we tracked down a few animals. Esme had found a fox, and she bent down and drank greedily, until the poor animal was drained of all blood. I found a deer, and I was scared at first, but then the aroma hit me. It was intoxicating, losing myself to my new instincts I drank the deer dry, and I felt full.

After burying the dead animals, we headed back to the house. While we were driving, I could smell humans from cars around us. They all had different smells. Some smelled like lemons, or sweat. But behind the scent there was the smell of rust and salt. It was vague, but it was there. It didn't smell appetizing at all.

When we got home I grabbed my overnight bag. Alice then insisted that we go shopping.

"Why would we go shopping Alice?"

"I can think of a couple of reasons."

"Uh-huh. Like what?"

"Well your old clothes are a bit small on you now. Not to mention that they were so not fashionable-no offense though. And I think you need to look extra fantastic when Edward sees you. "

I considered that. It was a good idea. And most of my clothes were small now.

"Ok fine Alice. But the second you try to play guinea- Pig Barbie, I am so out of there"

She squealed, and jumped up and down. We went to the mall, and since Alice had been there before she knew where everything was. I let her throw clothes at me to try on. She told me which ones looked best and she put them in a pile.

We had been doing that for to hours when Alice saw a black dress. She dragged me into the store immediately. She found the dress and it looked amazing. It was a beaded chiffon halter dress. It was elegant but casual at the same time. She made me try it on.

It looked amazing on me. It fit my curves perfectly, I looked amazing in it. This was definitely going to shock Edward if nothing else did.

"I love it Bella! It looks amazing on you. Doesn't it look great Rose?"

"Yes it does. It really quite flattering," Rosalie was being nice, I was afraid that she was still mad at me because of my powers, but she didn't seem to show it.

"Thanks, this is what I'm going to wear."

"Yeah, totally. He will be stunned!" I gave her a weak smile, and she grabbed my dress and paid for it.

Then she dragged my in a shoe store to find the perfect high heels. I walked around the store in 3 inch heels without tripping, and I was sure that most of my clumsiness was gone.

After trying almost half of the shoe store Alice found what she called "the perfect pairs of heels ever made" but then she had a vision, and told us the perfect heels wouldn't come in until 2015.

We drove back to the house, and Alice put the stuff away into her car. She had to force some of it into Emmett's car as well, since there wasn't enough room.

Alice made me change into the black dress, and those "perfect" shoes. I glanced at myself in the mirror. I looked fantastic. I hoped this shook his brain. I was constantly battling with my emotions. At one time it was nothing but despair and then there was only anger. Jasper was starting to get worried and he was constantly sending me waves of calm.

I went downstairs, and everyone looked at me with shock.

"Why are you guys looking at me like that? Do I look overdressed? I could change…" I trailed off.

"No Bella it's not that. You look amazing. I have no words to describe it."

Wow.

"Thank you Esme." I hugged her.

"Well we should get going I suppose, I called Irena to tell her that we were coming."

"Carlisle, did you say anything about me?

"No dear, I felt that you would be a surprise."

"Are we just going to stay here all day? Edward is out their waiting for a beating! We need to go!"

"Emmett what did I tell you?"

I laughed. But it was weak.

"You said I couldn't kill him, but you didn't say I wasn't allowed to give him a well deserved beating."

"Ok Emmett lets go. But if you are going to beat him up, Cause as much pain as you want, but he has to stay in one piece."

"Fine. Did I mention you were no fun?"

"Yes, you did, now let's _go_."

We all piled in to the cars. It was only a twenty minute drive, and we were there in what felt like seconds.

We got out of the cars, and walked up the driveway. The house was beautiful. It was made out of wood, or maybe it was made out of something to make it look like wood but I want sure. It was huge.

Irena and Tanya came out to greet us.

Everyone hugged each other.

"Hey, I'm Tanya." She held out her hand. "Nice to meet you and you are?"

"Hi Tanya, it's a nice to meet you too, but you'll find out who I am soon enough."

She looked at me strangely. But she let it go.

Irena shook my hand as well, but she was just as puzzled. Everyone looked puzzled, except Alice. She knew that I wanted to keep my identity a secret until I met Edward. Emmett was the first to notice what was going on. He winked at me.

It would be terrific if he didn't recognize me. It would make everything so much better, when he found out who I actually was.

Tanya led us into the house, and Edward was there standing at the bottom of the staircase not sure of what to do.

"Mom, Dad. What are you guys doing here?"

"Well we felt that after what happened with Bella," he flinched. "That we should relocate, and we decide to come here."

Emmett walked up to Edward and punched him in the gut. Alice giggled, and then she glared at him.

"What was wrong with you Edward? Why did you leave her? Again?"

"I didn't leave her, she left me."

He did not just say that. I DID NOT LEAVE HIM! He dumped me and I took some control over my life.

His eyes trailed over to me. He didn't seem to know me. Yes!! I did look pretty different from when I was human, I was taller, and I definitely looked older. I could easily pass for 21.

"Do I know you?" he asked me.

"I think you do." I replied my voice icy.

"I don't think I've ever seen you before."

"I'm the girl who just happened to _leave_ you." I glared at him. Shock and understanding filled his face.

"Bella?"

I nodded.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER 7

"Yeah it's me"

"But, what? How? You're a vampire!" He was stunned, whether by me a being a vampire, or the fact that I was in front of him; it could be the dress though.

"Yes. I am a vampire. I was going to be one in the end whether you wanted it or not. As for how, after you decided I wasn't the "one" I went to Carlisle and he changed me."

He was speechless. So was everyone else, Tanya and Irena were totally shocked.

"Katrina, Carmen, and Eleazer are hunting, they'll be here shortly and you can meet them." Irena said trying to break the tension.

"Ok, I can't wait to see Katrina again." Rosalie added. I smiled at her.

Edward just stood their looking shocked as ever. He truly looked like a statue, not moving, or breathing, and that wasn't enjoyable. I had tried not breathing, but it felt really uncomfortable.

"Edward, I have a question for you." My voice was soft, but it showed no hint of kindness.

"What?" He looked really scared. Did he think I was going to ask him why he left? Of course not, I already had the answer for that.

"Can you hear my thoughts?" _I hate you!_ I screamed in my head just in case he could hear me.

"No I can't Bella" The way he said Bella, was heart wrenching. It made me wish that I could grab him, and tell him everything was okay. But I couldn't. Everything wasn't okay.

"Well I am thrilled that you still can't hear my mind. The things you would hear won't be very pleasant." I hissed, and he flinched. "One more thing, that's Isabella to you. You don't have the right to call me Bella, only friends and family can, and you're neither."

He just nodded. He kept his expression calm but there was a lot of pain in his eyes. He went upstairs. When he was gone I let the sadness take me in.

I turned around and tears formed in my eyes. Alice gave me hug, and I hugged her back.

"So can you show us to our rooms Tanya?"

She nodded, and Alice held my hand as we made our way upstairs.

"You guys all have your usual rooms. Bella there's only one room left for you."

"Ok, that's fine." I wondered why she was bothered by that.

"It's across from Edwards's room, Bella."

"Oh." Horror washed through me but then I convinced myself that I had nothing to be scared of. "I can deal with that Tanya."

Everyone walked off to their own bedrooms, and I headed toward my room. It was pretty. A whole wall looked out on to the forest. There was a door on the wall that led to a balcony. The room had a walk-in closet, a couch, a night stand, and a small table in the corner of the room.

It was small and petite, I liked it. I wouldn't mind staying in here at all. I sat down on the couch when I remembered that all of my stuff was still in the car. I ran downstairs, heading toward Alice's Porsche. I grabbed all of the stuff, and made my way upstairs. I sorted through all of my clothes, and I hung them up.

I decided that I had to take off the dress. I could save it for some other occasion. I found a blue tank top and a mini-skirt. Even though we couldn't be affected by the cold in Alaska, the clothes Alice bought me were meant for summer.

I grabbed a pair of sandals, and I walked out of the room looking for Alice when I tripped over my feet. Instead of hitting the ground a pair of white arms caught me. They helped me up and when I realized it was Edward, I was furious. He actually had the nerve to touch me. I wished I had fallen on my nose instead.

I looked at him, and he stared at me. I refused to look into his eyes, I couldn't get lost in them.

I nodded curtly and I was about to walk off, when he stood in my way.

"Excuse me." I hissed.

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

"And I care about your apology because….?" I was being harsh, but he totally deserved it.

"Be-, Isabella you have to hear me out." He pleaded.

"I don't want to hear you out. I have had enough Edward. My heart is not a toy you can play with and then break."

"Your heart wasn't a toy to me." His golden eyes burned with something I didn't recognize.

I laughed. "Mr. Cullen, if my heart wasn't a toy for you, I wouldn't be in Alaska right now, and nor would I be a vampire."

"Isabella, I didn't want to leave you." Him saying that just made my anger build up more. He was such a liar. If he didn't stop talking soon I was going to explode.

"Oh well I didn't know that. Thank you so much for telling me." My voice was full of sugar. And then I slapped him. Hard. . "Doesn't. Change. A. Thing." I said each word slowly and clearly.

I stormed off, leaving a very shocked Edward Cullen behind.


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER 8

Edwards POV

I sat in my room, doing nothing. I no longer had anything to do. The love of my life, was gone. I had tried to leave her for the second time, and it had all backfired. She found out, and she chose to get rid of me. I didn't blame her. How could I ever blame my loving angel? It just wasn't possible.

Tanya was…hospitable, but I had to make it clear that I wasn't interested…again. So she kept her thoughts to herself when she was around me…literally.

I was listening to My Immortal by Evanescence, when I heard Emmett's voice. What was he doing here? Did they all come?

Questions whirled through my head as I made my way downstairs. I stopped at the bottom of the staircase, waiting for them to come inside. What was I supposes to say?

I didn't want to face Alice especially, she was going to be the worst of all. They all looked at me.

Esme looked at me sadly, and Carlisle looked disappointed. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, and Alice just glared.

"Mom, Dad. What are you guys doing here?"

"Well we felt that after what happened with Bella," I flinched at her name. "We should relocate, and we decide to come here."

Emmett walked up to me and punched me in the gut. I grunted. Alice giggled.

"What was wrong with you Edward? Why did you leave her? Again?" I frowned.

"I didn't leave her, she left me." I was a very sorry excuse for a vampire. That's when I saw that my family wasn't the only one there. There was another vampire.

She was tall, and beautiful. Her hair went to her waist, and her eyes were red. She must be a newborn. The dress she wore made her looked great. She reminded me of Bella, a little bit.

"Do I know you?" I asked her.

"I think you do." She said her voice cold. I didn't know her, I had never seen her before.

"I don't think I've ever seen you before."

"I'm the girl who just happened to _leave_ you." No. No. No. It couldn't be. It wasn't.

"Bella?"

She kept on glaring at me and she nodded.

"Yeah it's me." It had only been four days, since I had left, and she was a vampire. I looked at Carlisle. _You got what you deserved._ I heard him say in his head.

"But what? How? You're a vampire!"

"Yes I'm a vampire. I was going to be one in the end, whether you wanted it or not. As for how, after you decided I wasn't the "one", I went to Carlisle and he changed me."

I didn't have the energy to speak. My Bella, my sweet, perfect Isabella, hated me for what I had done. I just looked at her, wishing that I had never made the stupid decision to leave...like last time.

I heard someone say something but I didn't pay attention to who it was. I started to turn around at head back upstairs and try to figure out what just happened. Bella stopped me.

"Edward I have a question for you." I stopped, hoping that I wouldn't be about me leaving. She was speaking softly but I could hear the venom in her words.

I sighed. "No I can't Bella."

"Well I am thrilled that you still can't hear my mind. The things you would hear won't be very pleasant." She hissed, and I flinched. "One more thing, that's Isabella to you. You don't have the right to call me Bella, only friends and family can, and you're neither."

I nodded and kept on making my way upstairs. She hated me more than ever. I wasn't even allowed to call her Isabella. It was all my fault, every single bit of it. I went into my room and I sat there for a while trying to figure out what the hell just happened. Half of me knew what was going on and the other half was still in shock.

Soon I heard them all going upstairs, they were all going into their usual rooms. The only room left would be across from mine. Was I happy or sad about that? I had no idea what was going on.

"It's across from Edward's room, Bella." Tanya told her.

"Oh." She paused for a moment and said "I can deal with that Tanya."

I hadn't realized that I was holding my breath, and I exhaled slowly. She walked into her room, and I went back to my trying to figure out what was happening.

_What you did was wrong Edward, she was one of us. _I heard Esme's thoughts. She knew that I heard. I was filled with remorse, and maybe if I just walked into her room and tried to explain everything to Bella.

_That wouldn't work Edward. She's a newborn; she would whip your ass in seconds. _Ahh sweet Alice, she was just so helpful. So going into her room wasn't an option.

I heard Bella come out of her room, she started walking and then almost fell on the floor. I ran to the door and caught her before her face touched the floor. I smiled, Bella's clumsiness hadn't disappeared. I was helping her up, and she realized that it was me who caught her.

She looked at me and I couldn't do anything but stare. She has change so much. I was filled with despair thinking that the Bella I knew would never return because of the mistakes I made.

She nodded at me, but I blocked her way. I wanted to talk to her. I don't think that was the best decision I ever made.

"Excuse me." She hissed, while piercing me with her eyes, she looked freighting because of her red eyes.

"I'm sorry." I looked at her with pleading eyes. I had to make everything right, even if it killed me.

"And I care about your apology because…?" She said her voice hard.

"Be-, Isabella you have to hear me out." I was begging. She had to listen to me, I needed her to understand.

"I don't want to hear you out Edward. My heart is not a toy you can play with and then break."

"Your heart wasn't a toy to me." She just laughed; she wasn't going to trust me. I was to blame for that.

"Mr. Cullen, if my heart wasn't a toy for you, I wouldn't be in Alaska right now, and nor would I be a vampire."

"Isabella, I didn't want to leave you." It was true. It took every particle of my being to get myself to leave. The whole thing had just ended up backfiring.

Her eyes filled with fury, when I said that. She was going lash out her anger out on me soon.

"Oh well I didn't know that. Thank you so much for telling me." She said her voice overly sweet. And then she slapped me. And it hurt, a lot. "Doesn't. Change. A. Thing." She pronounced each word clearly.

And then she walked off, and she was gone. Just like that.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER 9

BPOV

I went looking for Alice when I found her in the den talking to Tanya. She smiled at me. Did she know that I just slapped Edward; she certainly didn't seem to show it.

I sat down next to her, and Tanya got up immediately. She didn't seem to like me much.

As soon as Tanya was out of the room Alice turned to me.

"So you slapped him, huh?" She giggled.

"Yeah, I did."

"Why?"

"He said he didn't want to leave me. So I slapped him. It was actually quite enjoyable; I think I actually hurt him."

"Bella I think you hurt him emotionally more than you hurt him physically."

"How Alice? How did I hurt him emotionally? He doesn't love me anymore remember?" He couldn't love me anymore. Actually, let's just not get into this conversation, I don't wanna hear it."

"Fine." Alice became still. She was in one of her visions again. She broke into a wide grin.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Well you wanted revenge didn't you?"

"No, not exactly, I just wanted to upset him, in anyway possible. So yeah I guess I want revenge."

"Ok, so you have any plans?"

"You do realize that he can hear you right?"

"Yes, but he should be prepared for whatever you're going to use against him."

"No way, Alice! I am not going play fair."

"Oh I know." I shook my head. Alice made no sense at all sometimes. It was going to make me delusional some day.

"Ok whatever. Let's do something fun. I haven't really tried out all of my vampire abilities."

"Well maybe its time for Emmett's wrestling match."

"Great!" Emmett was suddenly there with me and Alice standing in front of me. You're so dead Bella!"

"Emmett that was a poor choice of words, I'm already dead." I giggled.

"Oh you know what I mean."

"Alright, you go and tell everyone and then wait outside. I need to change out of this skirt."

Emmett left, and I heard him call everyone. I went upstairs and changed into some more suitable clothes for wrestling.

Everyone was waiting for me outside. Jasper was taking bets with another vampire. I walked over them to introduce myself.

"Hi I'm Bella."

"I'm Eleazer. It's nice to meet you Bella." He stuck out his hand for me to shake, and I did.

"It's nice to meet you too." A woman walked over to him, and she smiled at me.

"Hello Bella, I'm Carmen." She was a tall and brunette and she had warm eyes.

I smiled at her, and we shook hands as well.

"I think you'll easily beat Emmett. He's not very good. I remember when I wrestled him; he was down in three seconds flat." She chuckled remembering.

"Carmen you're not helping!" Emmett yelled at her. "Come on Bella! You're taking too long."

"Ok, Ok let's get this over with." He crouched down, and I copied him. He lunged toward me, and he missed me by a centimeter. Before he realized what was going on I was on his back. He tried to get me off, and I jumped off. It took him a second to notice that I was off, and during that second I was able to push him onto the ground. He had lost and he was too slow to notice.

"I want a rematch! You cheated Bells!'

"Aww little Emmett can't face the face that he lost to me." I taunted him. He growled at me and I just laughed.

I looked around, eyeing everyone except _him_.

"So Jasper did you win the bet?" I grinned at him. "Yeah. I told Emmett to wait until you weren't a newborn to wrestle but he never listens. And now he owes me 900 dollars."

I looked at Emmett; he looked seriously annoyed, probably because he lost.

"I'm still in the mood to wrestle. Any volunteers? What about you Jasper?"

He backed up. "No way Bella! Not until you are at least three years old."

"Humph" I muttered under my breath. "Anyone else?"

"I'd like to wrestle you." I turned around. It couldn't be him. It wasn't him. No. No. No.

It was him.

I looked at Alice, and glared at her. But she was trying really hard not to giggle. She knew! That was her vision! She had known this would happen and she didn't tell me, Mary Alice Brandon Cullen you were in serious trouble.

I turned toward him.

"Fine Edward." I glared at him and muttered "But you asked for it." He made the first move, and I dodged him. He continually tried to touch me but he hadn't been able to lay a hand on me. And then I had an idea. I stood up straight and took a step back. He copied me and took a step forward.

I walked toward him my face inches away from his. He was getting confused. He had been caught off guard.

"Edward…" I whispered in his ear. I put my arms around his neck.

"Hmm…" He seemed unable to respond sensibly.

"I need to tell you..." He looked at me, waiting for my answer in a daze. I tried really, really hard not to laugh. I looked at Jasper. He understood and immediately sent me calm, just enough to control the laughter.

"You're going to down." I whispered in his ear. He was still in a daze so he didn't notice that he was flat on the ground until I laughed.

"I win Mr. Cullen. Nice try though." I smiled evilly.

I walked over to Alice, and grinned at her.

"You got that on video tape right?" I asked her while trying not to giggle.

"Yup. You didn't think I would have a vision of something like that and then not video tape it?"

I looked over at Edward he looked he wanted to kill someone at the moment. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"I'm glad you didn't tell me what you saw. It would have ruined it."

"I know. I saw you refusing to wrestle if I told you. But I don't get why Edward wanted to wrestle you in the first place."

"He lost his mind."

"No he lost that when he chose to-."

I was silent. Alice looked at me realizing the big mistake she had just made. I knew what she was about to say. _No he lost his mind when he chose to leave you._

"Oh Bella, I didn't mean it like that. I'm so sorry."

"No it's fine Alice. It doesn't matter. I'm not mad at you." I reached out and hugged her. She hugged me back.

I looked over Alice's shoulder and I saw Edward.

I knew tears were going to pour out of my eyes really soon. I let go of Alice, and started to make my way to my room. I looked at Edward one more time, and his eyes were empty, echoing my heart. Lifeless and empty.


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

I walked up to my room, and I sat down on the couch and I just let tears pour out of me for a while. But I let my mind wander. Maybe I should call Charlie. But my voice didn't sound the same so there was no point in that. And Renee, all of this was so sudden I paid no attention to the fact that Renee was going to go out and search for me. Well she didn't know anything about Alaska. She wouldn't try coming here. I was just going to have to learn to live without them. I was bored. That was fantastic because I had a whole eternity left in front of me and I was bored.

Maybe I should go shopping. I gasped, and shuddered. What had happened to me? Did becoming a vampire suddenly turn me into shopping maniac? I hoped not. So I got up off the couch and walked out. I had to force myself not to open Edward's door and see what he was doing.

I went outside and I ran through the forest. It was extremely exhilarating. And when I stopped it looked like I was standing there the whole time. Not a hair out of place.

I ran for a long time. It was getting dark and even though my new vision let me see in the dark I decided to go back to the house. I got back quickly and I found a garden in the back of the house. I sat down on a bench and I watched the sun set. I heard someone walk into the garden. I looked up and saw it was Edward.

He was here to ruin the moment. I got up ready to leave, but he stopped me.

"No don't go. I just came out here to think. I didn't know you were out here." I nodded and I sat back down. What was I doing? I needed to get away from here. I should leave. But I didn't.

He sat down on the bench next to me. I froze. What was he thinking? Did he not remember getting slapped, and then losing to me at wrestling? He would never learn.

"Isabella I want to talk to you." I had a very strong urge to punch him again. But I didn't, I would hear him out.

I was totally pathetic.

I nodded.

"I guess that talking to you today didn't work out so well."

I snorted. "You think?"

He grinned. "Well you slap really hard."

"Are you here to tell me how hard I slap or do you want to talk to me?" I was losing the little patience I had left with me.

"Look Bella. I mean Isabella; I had a reason to leave." He paused looking waiting for my reaction. I kept face expressionless and I waited. He continued.

"Paul was willing to kill you if I didn't leave. He wanted me to leave so Jacob could have his chance with you. When you picked me over him, he was messed up and Paul wasn't having that."

I stared at him incredulously. "And you bought that?"

He sighed. "From his thoughts he was a hundred percent on being ready to kill you. And couldn't stand putting you in any danger, so I thought if I left you could have a happy normal life with Jake and you wouldn't be in anymore danger."

I shook my head. This was probably some lie that he cooked to gain my trust back or something.

"And then when I came in to leave, you had known. And I was shocked as I was when I saw that it was you with the rest of the family. "

I was silent. I had a hard time taking it all in. "Isabella I still love-."

I cut him off. "Don't say it. Please don't. I can't hear it."

I stood up and I was about to leave when he grabbed my hand. "How am I supposed to fix this? How am I supposed to make everything alright again? "

He could dig a hole and bury himself under it and stay there for a good three centuries. But that was a bit extreme.

"Ok." I took a deep unneeded breath. "Pretend that nothing between us ever happened. Pretend that we just met. We can be friends but nothing more."

His gold eyes burned into my red ones. "Is that really what you want?" He whispered.

"Yes that's exactly what I want. I want us to be friends. I want to pretend that nothing ever happened."

"Than that's how it's going to be. I'll do anything to gain your trust back."

I nodded and I started to make my way back to the house.

"Wait," He called.

"I turned around. " Since we're friends now can I call you Bella?" I tried really hard not to smile but the corners of my lips were twitching.

"Yes. You can call me Bella." He smiled. And I smiled back.

When I got to my room, I was overwhelmed. Did I want everything to go back to normal? Did I want Edward to become part of my life again? Could I really start over with him?

I didn't know.


	11. Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

( stretch out chappie's so it lasts about three days…and then add more)

I had spent most of the night in my room. I was thinking about this whole friendship thing. I sighed. I seemed to do that a lot lately. I couldn't help myself. Everything I was dealing with required so many sighs.

What was I thinking? Had I truly lost my mind? I was thinking about _sighing_. I should go hunting.

Alice was waiting for me downstairs, because she knew that I was going. And her eyes were really dark now. We went together. Alice was quiet the whole time. And then I remembered something Alice had said not to long ago.

"Alice, do you know what that other power I'm supposed to have is?"

"No. I still can't see it. I think that it has to happen without making decision. Your power is most likely involuntary. That's why I can't see it."

"Oh."

I let myself ponder over that for a while. What could it be? I had no idea. It reminded me of Jacob and how the whole phasing was involuntary until you learned to control it.

This time we went hunting I found an elk. It was tasty, and it made me feel full. There was no burning in my throat anymore. Alice had 3 deer and then we went back to the house. Her eyes were back to their original gold. My eyes were slowly turning auburn. Human eyes wouldn't be able to detect it but vampire eyes could.

When we got to the house Emmett wanted to arm-wrestle,. I beat him 23 times, but the guy would never give it a rest. He constantly wanted a rematch.

After playing for two hours I told him to stop.

"Emmett you can be such a sore loser sometimes."

He muttered something extremely unintelligible. And I got up and went around the house to find something to do. I found Edward playing the piano. I stayed by the door and listened to him. I was puzzled at why the tune sounded so familiar. And then I remembered that it was my lullaby. I closed my eyes and a tear slipped down my cheek, as I faintly recalled all of the times I had heard this before. The strongest memory was when he took me to meet his family for the first time. I laughed remembering how scared I was. And now I was here, one of them.

When I opened my eyes I saw Edward looking at me. He had stopped playing and his eyes were locked with mine. I wiped away my tears embarrassed.

"I wish I could play the piano. The music is so lovely."

"I can teach you, if you like." I considered this. I did agree to become his friend. It would be all right, I hope.

"Alright, can we start now?" He smiled.

"Sure." I sat down next to him, and he started to explain everything. Because I was a vampire now it didn't take me long to memorize what everything was, or how to do it. By the end of the day I had learned how to play my lullaby. When we were done we both got up.

"I had a lot of fun. Thank you for teaching me" I smiled at him carefully.

"You're Welcome. I had just as much fun as you did." He smiled back. "Maybe we could do it again sometime?"

I laughed. "I don't think I'll need to, you taught me so much. I can manage on my own from here." I was telling him no, but at least I was nice about it.

He frowned, but his expression changed again quickly, and he was smiling again. There was an awkward pause and we just stared at each other for the longest time.

I was the first one to recover. "I guess I should go now." Not that I wanted to.

"Yes." Before I could turn around he kissed my cheek, and then he walked out of the room.

I stood there shocked, one hand touching my cheek. I felt happy, normal. Like I did before this whole thing had ever happened.

I kept on standing there, and taking in the happiness, when reality hit me straight in the face.

I was getting my hopes up again. It was a simple friendly gesture. It meant nothing.

Getting my hopes up was a very bad thing. I wasn't going to crash and burn again. Ever.


	12. Chapter 12

CHAPTER 13

Alice was waiting for me in my room. Of course, Alice would know everything that's going on now.

"You're leaving?" It was more of a statement than question.

"Yes Alice, I'm leaving."

"Why? This wasn't supposed to happen. I could still see you working on all of these revenge plots. And then it changed. You and Edward were separated, both pining for the other. This wasn't supposed to happen!"

"He kissed me, and I realized that I couldn't stay with him. I'll always love him. I can't help that. But the threat of heartbreak would stand if I stayed. And he doesn't want me."

"What? Bella stop jumping to conclusions! He's always wanted you!"

"He doesn't. When I told him I was leaving, he didn't fight me, or beg me that I stay. He can't truly love me if he was willing to let me go." I paused and took a deep breath, "And I can let go of him to."

"Bella you can't do this. I can't lose both of you. He's my brother and you're my sister and my best friend. Don't leave me."

"Alice," I sighed. "I wish you could feel what I'm feeling right now. Then you would understand what was actually going on."

I put a hand on her shoulder, and she collapsed. "Oh- oh…I can't…hurt so…much."

"What's wrong Alice? What hurts? Alice? Speak to me!" I was freaking out. She was in so much pain.

Jasper, who could feel Alice's pain from far, came rushing in.

"What's wrong with her Bella?!" His voice was desperate.

"I don't know. I touched her shoulder…and…she…" I stopped, and it all made sense now. When I said I wish Alice could feel what I was feeling, I touched her shoulder. And she really did feel it. And it had made her collapse, with its sudden intensity.

I let go of Alice and she sank to the floor. Jasper picked her up in his arms and he held her gently. She calmed down.

Jasper was mostly to thank for that.

She looked at me. "I guess we found your power." She grinned weakly.

Jasper looked at me questioningly. "Your power is to make vampires collapse?"

"No. I was talking to Alice, and I wished she could understand how I was feeling. And then I touched her shoulder. And she actually felt it."

"Bella there are so many possibilities, for this, you can't leave yet."

"I can't stay either."

"You can and you will. We're not going to lose you."

"Jasper, it's not worth it anymore. You can keep, me but I'm lost. I have nothing left."

"Bella, I can feel Edward's love for you. You can't say that." My heart lifted slightly.

"He has a funny way of showing it. But it doesn't matter, just please forget this. It was all totally worthless. I'm totally worthless." And again the tears came back.

"Bella," Alice croaked. Which I thought was weird because I didn't think it was possible for vampires to croak. My power was pretty powerful. "I see two outcomes. Wait no…three. The first one is that you and Edward live happily ever after. The second one is you leave to the Volturi and Edward pines away in misery for his whole life, and the last one is," she shuddered. "You stay with us, and Edward marries Tanya right in front of you."

I gasped. He…marries…Tanya??? My head started to spin, and I was sure that I was going to collapse. And I did. I fell to the floor and my mind went black.

When I regained consciousness, I was on a bed. And I felt disoriented, and I when I looked around I realized I was in my room, on a bed that hadn't been there before. There was something on my hand, when I looked I realized that someone was holding my hand. It was Edward, and he looked so relieved that I had woken up. I took my hand out of his, because I wanted absolutely no physical contact or I would totally lose any self-control I had left.

He looked hurt when I took my hand away but I didn't care, I was in enough pain as it is, and a little pain on his side wouldn't kill him.

"What happened to me…I was fine, and then Alice…and my power…?" I asked, hoping I was going to get an answer because I was absolutely confused, and I was afraid my mind couldn't take much more of it.

Carlisle was the one who answered me. "Bella, I think that what you were going through, and the shock of it all, and discovering your power, was too much to handle, even for a vampire."

"So what you're saying is that I went into a coma?" I didn't even think it was possible…but then again the weirdest things always happen to me.

"Yes, pretty much, but you have know idea how glad we are that you're awake, because this isn't like anything that's happened before, and it scared the crap out of us." Emmett told me. And then he grabbed me and pulled me into one of his bear hugs.

I hugged him back, and I wondered how I was ever going to let any of these people go. I wouldn't be able to let go of my brothers, and sisters, and my…parents.

When Emmett let go of me, Rosalie grabbed me. I was so shocked when she hugged me because I was still getting used to her kindness. I would've thought Alice would be the one to grab me but she was the last. After I had gone through hugs from everyone Alice came up to me and out her arms around me.

"I never really knew what was happening to you before, but I know now." She whispered in my ear, and she spoke so quietly that I was sure no one heard.

I let Alice go, and looked at Edward; he was still next to the bed staring at his hands. He hadn't hugged me, he had watched from afar.

"How long was I…gone?"

This time Edward was the one who spoke.

"4 days." His voice was calm.

I gasped. "Really? I thought I had just been out a few hours. I didn't know it was this bad. Do you think it will happen again…if I'm under to much stress or something?"

"It could. We're not so sure. This isn't like something I've ever seen before, and I've seen quite a bit." Carlisle told me.

I let myself think it over. If somehow, I was going to lose myself I would I would go into a vampire coma.

"Great," I muttered. "I wasn't a normal human, and I'm not a normal vampire either."

Everyone laughed, except Edward. I wondered if Alice had told them about my power, and Alice of course always knowing what's about to happen, said "Yeah, Bella, I've told everyone."

"Oh, um, yeah. So I can make people feel the pain I've been through." I wondered if anyone would be able to handle it...I could barely do it, and the power of it had made a vampire collapse. Collapse!

"I want you to do it to me." Edward said. It shocked me to no end. He wanted me to what?

"I really don't think you want me to do that." It was way too painful, and as much as I hated to admit it, I didn't want anything to happen to Edward.

"I do, I need to know what it feels like for you, because I don't think it's anything like what I feel." And that's when my anger flared up.

"I think you guys need to leave, I need to speak with Edward, _alone_." I hissed. Alice rushed all of them out, closing the door behind her, with this horrible grin on her face. Something was up, but I'd worry about it later because I had other things to deal with at the moment.

I folded my arms across my chest. And then I turned to face him.

"So you think that your pain is stronger than mine?"

"Yes." He said in a clipped tone. I was really close to throttling him, when I heard Alice say "Don't do it Bella." Humph. No fair she can see the future.

He had a wry grin on his face. "You were going to throttle me?" His tone was amused.

"Yes, because you're such an idiot! What is wrong with you?" I yelled.

"Nothing is wrong with me."

I laughed. "Okay fine, then there's something wrong with me. I was about to be dumped by the guy I loved, but I left him before anything could happen. And then I become a vampire. And every time I see this guy, I feel like someone is poking my heart with a sharp knife, which cuts me up, and never lets me heal. And when he has a chance to take me back, he doesn't fight for it. He just lets me go. So _how_ can you say that your pain is _worse_ than mine?"

He didn't answer.

"I thought so. But if you still want to know what it feels like fine. I'll let you feel it." I stepped forward and put my hand on his shoulder, and focused all my pain on him. For a moment there was peace, all the pain in my body had disappeared, and I felt light, and free. But then Edward collapsed and he was on the floor curled in a ball. I stopped touching him.

It took him a minute to get better. "So you see, you're pain is nowhere near mine in comparison."

"Yes, so it's worse then mine. But that doesn't mean that my pain isn't there at all."

"What pain could you possibly have?"

"I don't know. I make a mistake, and the love of my existence runs off, and becomes a vampire. And I'm not even there to help her through it. And when I look at her I can see everything that I've lost and it kills me. And that one chance I had to take her back, I didn't because I thought that she would want better. And I know that I don't deserve her, and I didn't fight because I didn't think there was any reason for me to do so when she said it's over. I could see it in her eyes that I had lost."

I was silent. This wasn't what was supposed to be happening. When he had looked into my eyes, that lost look he saw was the result of what I felt when he didn't fight for me. It was wrong. This was wrong. Everything was totally screwed.

"Edward I love you. But this whole mess is your entire fault. I'm tired of shouldering blame on myself when I know it's not my fault, but I feel like it is. And this was the second time you were going to leave me. And you promised that you wouldn't. I love you now and I always will, but can't take it anymore. I can't _trust_ you."

"I know you can't trust me. Even if you don't believe me, I swear Bella if you ever forgive me and take me back, I will be by you forever. And I won't leave until the day you decide you don't want me anymore."

I looked into his eyes. And they held truth, just like they did last time he promised not to leave. Was it worth it? Yes it totally was.

"I'll Stay."

_Recap: I'll stay_

"But, If you leave, I promise you, that I will go to the Volturi and have them Kill me, and no one will be able to stop me."

He growled. "I'm serious Edward, you have the choice. Say no to me now, and I will live. Say yes, and then abandon me and I will kill myself."

"I will never let you go to the Volturi, because you're never going to see me leave."

I was silent, could I do it? What about that whole thing with Tanya? I would stay, and he would marry her…that was wrong. It's not the marrying Tanya that bothered me; it was the fact that he had the guts to do it in front of me. It just meant that our love meant nothing to him. I could say no now, and I would be right. Or I could make the choice and keep him, but there was always a risk, and I wasn't sure that I could be the same person anymore.

"Alice had this vision of you marrying Tanya," I paused, and saw his expression. He was shocked, and torn between the urge to laugh or scream. "You got married to her right in front of me."

"Bella I would never-"

"It would only happen if I stayed with the Cullens, but I didn't take you back."

He started to speak but I wasn't done talking yet.

"And I'm not going to lose you to anyone else. You're mine Edward Cullen, and I'm not going to let you go."

He just started at me for a second, slowly grasping my words.

And then he kissed me. It was soft, gentle and sweet. I don't know how long we went on for, but when we stopped he gave me a hug, that would put Emmett to shame.

"Bella, Bella, Bella I love you so much." He crooned. His eyes were full of joy, and I was having a really hard time trying not to lose myself in them.

"I love you too."

"I'm really sorry for everything I've done to you. I wish someone had told me not to do it."

"I did you idiot. I told you so many times." Alice yelled.

"Okay I'll rephrase. I wish I had listened to Alice."

"Hmm, you know, I wish you had listened to Alice to. But it's over. I want us to forget the past, and only focus on our future."

I really wanted that. I wanted to put this stupid mess behind us and get on with our lives.

Alice ran up the stairs, and she was her usual bouncy self. The rest of the family followed.

"Yes! I knew it, if I just said that thing about-"But she stopped herself, because she had made a huge mistake. She _lied_ about Tanya. I was going to kill her.

"You lied about Tanya?" I seethed. She was going to pay, and it was going to hurt.

"Well, Bella…" She hesitated. She looked at me with her pleading golden eyes. But I was angry! There was no way she was going get out of this one.

"I want the truth Alice, and I want it now, or so help me I will hurt you."

Jasper growled at me. "Not today Jasper, your wife has made a huge mistake and you aren't going to interfere." I glared at him and he backed off when he saw the look in my eyes.

"Alright, I saw that you were going to leave us Bella. And I couldn't let that happen. So I lied about the whole Tanya thing. And I saw that if I did, then you would take Edward back. And I just wanted both of you to be happy. Is that really wrong of me?"

"Yes it is Alice. I love Edward, but you lied, and you scared me to no end. I took Edward back because I didn't want him to marry Tanya. I don't want him to marry anyone but me."

Edward looked at me dazed. "You want to marry me?"

I nodded at him but I kept my attention on Alice.

"It's going to take me a lot of time to forgive you, for what you've done."

She grinned at me. "It won't take you that long. You have Edward back…um…you'll forgive me in the next 25 seconds…"

I looked at her shocked, but Edward squeezed my hand. I looked up at him and he didn't seem angry. Fine.

"Five…four…three…two…-"

"Okay fine Alice I forgive you, but you can't force me on any shopping trips! So Ha!"

She pouted.

"That's what you get for messing with me."

And then she grinned. "But I have to take you shopping, how on earth am I going to plan your wedding otherwise?"

My wedding? Oh right, Edward had proposed to me before this huge mess…and I promised to let Alice plan it all.

"So you can go shopping without me. And as punishment, Rose, Esme, do you mind planning it?"

Rose and Esme grinned like Cheshire cats. "Of course not! We'd love to!" They both said.

Alice looked like Christmas had been canceled. "Bella, you wouldn't really do that to me, would you?"

"No," But I wouldn't let her do all of it. "Fine, you can only do what Rose and Esme want you to do. They're in charge."

"Well I suppose it's better than nothing." She still looked sad, but she would have to get over it.

"Well then that's that."

She walked over to Jasper, and pouted; he smiled and wrapped his arms around her.

"So what now?" Emmett asked me.

"Well, we are back together, I am getting married to the love of my life, and Alice, is no longer planning my wedding."

Edward wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Are we staying in Denali, or are we moving back, to Forks?" Edward asked.

"I think that we should stay here, until the wedding, and then once we're married, we can move on."

That was my plan. As soon as we left this place the better, there was no bloodlust to control, so I would be fine. We could move on. For good this time.

Everyone nodded in agreement. And with that I grabbed Edward's hand and left. There wasn't much more to say. And me, I was in the mood for some alone time with my fiancée.


	13. Epilogue

We got married and it was the best day of my entire life. Alice bugged Esme and Rose to the point where they let Alice plan it so she would ignore them for a while. So Alice still got to plan my wedding, I didn't care; I was still marrying the guy I had wanted for so long. Edward looked amazing when I walked down the aisle. Everyone was looking at me, but I only had eyes for him. Since my dad couldn't be there, Emmett got the honors of walking me down the aisle. I was so excited and nervous that I tripped, but Emmett, for once, decided not to tease me as it was my wedding.

After the vows, we were going straight to London. our honeymoon. I had told Alice that I didn't want a reception; because my friends and my parents couldn't be there. Edward had decided to take us to London, because of the rainy weather we would be able to go out into public.

"Bella, I have a surprise for you!" Alice had told me as soon as she had taken me from Edward to get ready to go to London.

I almost groaned. But then I remembered how happy I was, and practically danced behind Alice.

When we reached her room, she helped me take out all of the pins in my hair and take off my wedding dress, because it had so many zippers, that even as a vampire I was confused.

"You're not going to let me wear jeans are you? Some expensive designer dress that you're waiting to put on me…"

"Actually I am going to let you wear jeans."

Did she just say that? I think she said I could wear jeans. What is the world coming to? Alice just agreed to let me wear jeans.

Not that I wasn't thrilled that I could wear something comfortable, it was just Alice had something planned. I eyed her suspiciously.

"Don't look at me like that Bella. I've done nothing wrong. Its just the jeans are designer, and I made the t-shirt myself."

"Really? You made a t-shirt? Well let me see it." I was really curious. Alice was going through some weird phase. I had to warn Jasper.

"I'm perfectly fine Bella. You don't need to warn Jasper about anything." But she had a ridiculous grin on her face.

"Show me the shirt Alice."

She ran into the closet and pulled out a black t-shirt. In white letters, it said _The Vampire Bride _with pictures of fangs underneath.

I burst out laughing. The shirt was awesome; I would have so much fun wearing it. Emmett would love it. But it wouldn't mess with our secret, would it?

"No one will suspect anything so feel free wear it, if you want, which from what I can see, you do. "

I just nodded, still laughing.

I put on the jeans and t-shirt and walked downstairs to Edward and the rest of family was waiting for me.

Emmett saw the shirt, and he was immediately bent on his knees laughing. Carlisle and Esme were the next ones to notice. Carlisle had a huge grin on his face, and Esme had a hand covering her mouth, while she laughed quietly. Rosalie was staring at Emmett, trying to guess what was wrong with him, and then she looked at me and broke into a fit of giggles. Jasper sent a wave of hilarity around the room, and that just made them all laugh harder.

Edward, looked at my shirt, came up to me and kissed me, and whispered in my ear "The shirt fits, and you look stunning as always."

I grinned at him, and then smiled at Alice. It was a wonderful surprise.

As we walked out of the house, I was hugged by everyone in the family. Emmett gave me a high-five as we got into the Aston Martin.

Edward and I talked about a lot of things through-out the whole ride to the airport. There were no people in first class, on the flight to London. So even though blood didn't bother me, Edward would be able to sit the flight in peace. I leaned my head against his shoulder, and he held my hand, and we were just quiet for a while.

After a while he took an Ipod out.

"I got this for you. It has all of my favorites, and all of your favorites on it. I also put in some songs that you haven't heard, but I thought you might enjoy."

I beamed. This was a wonderful gift.

"Thank you! I love it!"

He grinned. "I'm so glad you took it. I was scared you wouldn't accept it."

"I've gotten over the whole not-accepting-gifts thing. I have you, and if it makes you happy, then how can I be mad at you?"

He squeezed my hand. "Thank you."

I smiled and I put on of the headphones in his ear, and the other one in mine, and we listened to our favorite songs, for the rest of the flight.

When we got off the airplane, our luggage was already in a car, waiting for us outside. Carlisle owned a house in the center of London.

We found the house and we were getting sorted, when the phone rang.

Edward picked it up.

"What? Oh, alright. No, no it's fine. I don't mind." Edward spoke into the phone. When he hung up, I asked him what was wrong.

"Carlisle's is having issues with the landlord. He just wanted me to go to the bank and sort it all out. Do you mind if I go?"

"No of course not. How long will it take?"

"Just an hour. You can unpack while I'm gone, and figure out what we're going to do while we're here."

I nodded, and saw him to the door. I kissed him , and he left. I went upstairs, and I had sorted all of the luggage out within 10 minutes. I found that impressive, because Alice had literally packed 20 suitcases for each of us.

I wasn't surprised when I saw that a whole suitcase only had makeup in it. Afterwards, I found the computer room and I went online and I made a list of all the places I wanted to visit.

I was done within an hour.

I waited.

Another hour. I called no answer.

Hour.

After.

Hour.

I was alone. He wouldn't pick up.

I called the family. No answer. I called again, and again.

Alice's bubbly voice never answered. Emmett's booming voice didn't reach my ears. Rosalie's voice wasn't there. Carlisle and Esme were gone to. Even Jasper had disappeared. I don't remember how many times I called each of them.

I called him again. And again. And so many times that my phone ran out of battery.

I didn't hear Edward's velvety voice. I tried for a long time, I waited three days.

I searched every bank in London. I tried following his scent. Nothing.

So I ran. To Italy, where even after this whole mess was where I belonged.

I didn't think that he would do this to me, I was just so wrong. So this is it Edward _sweetheart_. You may have left, but I'm leaving this world. So in a way, you aren't leaving, I am.

I was alone. The Abandoned Vampire Bride.


End file.
